Holding it all in

So today I had a glimpse of myself in my 10 yr old. I think I am a good communicator. For better or worse, I say what I think and how I feel most of the time. But, there are times when I now if I "let it all out" it makes it harder on others and hurts feelings. After awhile holding it all in a little at a time, my vessel overflows and I can't hide it anymore.

Tonight the older boys had some friends over and they made a plan for the games they were playing " to be fair". I noticed Carter left the "fun" and went to his room. When I called to him, he said "I'm fine". Mothers intuition is a great thing. I went to him and after MUCH prodding the tears just fell. He was so upset but didn't want Ashton to get in trouble or the friends to go home. He had justifiable reasons for his heartache.

I felt hurt for him. I cried for him. I wished I could take his sadness away. The look in his eyes just broke me. And then I saw it, he was growing up. Trying to hold in all the feelings, trying to be " just fine". Trying to be a BIG kid. Ugh, stupid grownups. I learn a lot from watching my children.

So tomorrows a new day, he will play with new friends, be rested and happier and we will start all over again "holding it all in" until the next time...